MattyBreed

#stalkerstatus

#embarassingparents

#theweeknd ruined it for anyone suffering from facial paralysis

When your new chick is too young to know who #coheedandcambria is...

#youngman #itsfuntostayattheymca #labordayweekend

#matchdotcom

#highfive

#koifish #coyfish

Friend who doesn't understand idioms #eulogy

When you stub your toe but thanks to #emf and #andrewdiceclay everything is going to be okay

#watchmewhip

When your new haircut makes you look like the guy that got kicked out of #aflockofseagulls (and the singer later stole that #hairstyle )

...So you take a big chance at the high school dance...oh and you don't like #aerosmith #walkthisway #loop

Oh damn! I transported to my bedroom! Oh and #haircut #kbye

Spelling Bee (a Mike Mekes thing)

#salesman at #sleepys is tired of hearing the same joke every day...

This is from my snap story. Didn't really know what else to do with it so I'm just gonna leave this here (f. Caroline Carovine )

#EddieVedderSings "filled my coffee cup with a / Tasty warm concoction" #stateofloveandtrust

There is definitely a #sexswing at this BBQ

#nostalgia means I can play with dolls and it's not creepy! #bigcomfycouch #MattyandMolly #thebigcomfycouch