The massager almost malfunctioned
When you forget you're at work
Cashier: the usual? 5 liters of beer?
Me: juice.
Cashier:
Are you sober? My voice mail:
I instantly forget what she said
How she sees me in this moment:
Take off your underwear if it's dry
Me:
Nice two
Just hit the paws 🥊
Her: will you have some gum?
Me: Give me two, like in the commercials
She: what commercial?
The voice of a baby velociraptor calling for its mother
When you broke up and everything reminds you of him.
I'm on holiday saying I don't drink.
I also say the next morning
Boy: I can't be with you, you're a difficult character
Man:
When she says you don't have to spit out food, you have to swallow it.
That's when I:
When you kissed for a long time and she took your sword