I hate tans. The sun is a curse. I'm all itchy. #Notanforme

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I hate the sun. It's evil.

My naturally curly, "naturally" red beard says "hi-eee" and with a special guest appearance by my nose and eyes.

I hate mean people.

Some hater asked me to take off the ugly mask but it seems to be glued on. Sorry.

Chocolate on the phone isn't a zit on my forehead.

I hope I can sleep w these clips on without gouging my face.

Yes it gets a little itchy sometimes.

This is the biggest goddamn zit I have ever had.

I hate my hair.